Thursday, March 25, 2010

SDTW Asks?

Should I be sensitive to fat people?

Maybe I am just a total asshole, but I've never understood the whole "be sensitive" towards fat people thing.

I mean is someone less of a human because they are fat? No way.

If anything they are more of a person. Right?

Seriously though a fat person is a person just the same and they can have a choice whether to care about what people think of their weight. If they don't care then more power to them. But if they do care, then well don't get mad at me for not pretending that your fupa (fat upper pussy/penis are) is not bursting out of your jeans.

Hypothetical here:

If an alcoholic drinks himself/herself into poor health people will logically point out that they are an alcoholic and deserve whatever repercussions that come from the condition.

Above: Sleep it off porkster

They knowingly drank themselves into poor health, right? Just like fat people knowingly get fat. It's not like that shit sneaks up on you. It is not the flu. You become fat if you prefer sitting over anything involving movement and if you prefer Funions instead of food.

The shit blows my mind. Like this 14 year old chick that weighs over 400lbs.

Some fat kid gets fat people surgery because she's too lazy to lose weight?

Here are quotes from the CNN interview:

"I don't like to go to crowded places -- like if a mall's crowded, I'll sit in the car."

"I'm a junk-food person and because I'm a couch potato I don't like to get off the couch," she said. "It's also kind of just like my genes: Both my parents are heavy and that's just the environment I was raised in."

"If a mall is crowded I'll sit in the car,"
well there you fucking go. Boom. Problem solved. Get to stepping fatso. The irony that is "a person that is too lazy to walk to Torrid" gives me a migraine. You're too fat to walk to Torrid? For real?

What about this gem?

"I'm a junk-food person and because I'm a couch potato I don't like to get off the couch,"

What the flying fuck? The reporter for CNN fails to point out the OBVIOUS parallel between sitting on your ass and getting fat. Instead they debate whether young people should be legally allowed to get stomach surgeries. Typical media spin? You bet your fat ass it is.

Yeah SDTW, but what is your point, you ask?

Well this all has an effect on us.

Health insurance premiums are much higher because of obesity: diabetes, heart issues, cholesterol, the list could go on.

Fat people = cause of all health care problems

Now I am pretty sure Al Queda just straight up does not tolerate fat people. I could see why. If your son or daughter were slowly dying from hunger and you saw this 14 year chick basically saying she is tired of eating too much you'd be pissed off too.

You following me here?

Fat people = caused 9/11

They also make for a lack of hot chicks and dudes (no homo).

Some dude is probably plotting on your chick right this minute because there is nothing but hippos in your social scene and if she does cheat on you it could be for all intensive purposes be because the pickings are too slim (no pun intended).

Fat people = cause adultery

Missing kids?

How do we know fat people aren't wolfing down little kids?

A kid goes missing all the time and I have yet to see a Law and Order that has even dignified the theory that we really don't know if fat people are cannibals. We don't even know how great white sharks fuck? Yeah real talk. So what makes you think we even have done any conclusive studies that fat people aren't eating other smaller humans or kids?

Fat people = cause cannibalism

Above: Oh hell to the nah! Ginger Crocs Big Gulp Fat Kid?

I am just throwing ideas out here folks. Don't shoot the messenger. If anyone has any other theories please let me know.


  1. As an avid consumer of Ho-Ho's I take exception to this post. I had to have my mommy type this from under my chin fat, and breast fat, and fat-fat. P.S. I love Weezy.