Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Drunken Amateur Breakdance Competition

The premise seemed simple enough:

Drunk, check!
Amateur, check!
Breakdance battle, check!
$1,250 cash prize, check!

What could possibly go wrong?

For those that don't know I can cut a rug every once in a blue moon and have participated in numerous drunken amateur break dance battles that didn't even offer money or prizes for that matter.

I had no idea that the contest was even going on until I checked Myspace and saw that it was indeed going down that night. I went to a local watering hole and watched Monday Night Football with my buddy Graeme (in costume mind you) that was one of the stipulations for the contest that participants had to be in 80's esq. attire.

I had on all over print parachute pants, o.g Jordan 5's (black), a vintage satin 49ers jacket (view it in my profile pic), a gold donkey chain and the cherry on the top, one official home made Brooklyn fade for the doo.

See below:

I was in it to win it. I am not a vain or cocky person, but I truly believed in my heart of hearts that this contest was going to be a walk in the park. I was completely wrong.

As soon as the first round got under way my hopes of getting that "diaper" money was all but crushed.

This guy didn't participate but I gave him two head spins and a donkey kick for keeping it gully.

Some of my fans = Baby Hoks and Tobias (in shorts by the way)

The mc for the night and on the 1's and 2's everybody’s' favorite dj savior Four Color Zach.

Sub-Note* You can also see the naked chick ice luge that you had to take vodka shots out of each round. I would like to thank everyone for not giving me hep c. Real talk.

Some of the pros in action.

Huffman on that gin standing next to Bambatta a.k.a The Zulu King

Mike, some large dude, and the Blog Father Himself a.k.aPUBS

Back to the story at hand...

The amateurs were asked to go first. This was a free for all style round where all the people that had signed up now had a chance to wow the crowd and hopefully move on to the next round. The first dude that went had a list of moves, a full ensemble, multiple out fits, and a pre-rehearsed routine. LAME!

It's supposed to be amateur night not "I've been practicing for the last 3 months just for this" night. At any rate I will admit he was good and did have some solid moves. Two or three people went after him and then I jumped in. As soon as I stepped into the circle the entire crowd immediately booed me.

For the life of me I had no idea why I was getting boos. Then the mc points out that my jacket is a "49ers" jacket. WTF? I shrugged it off and didn't let it bother me. The music started and my mind blanked. First thing that came to mind was "DO THE MONKEY MAN" and that's what I did. After the monkey man, I broke off some uprock, went down to the floor, freeze, a little B.B.D New Jack Swing Esq. steez, then I hit them with the Russian, and ended it with some funkatronic.

The crowd gave me mad love and I thought maybe that diaper money was mine.


Real talk.

Uncle Torbey and Thizzed Out Huffman

Moving on...

To make a long story short I was paired up with a pro for the tandem competition and eventually lost.

Pubs and Jason (Flying Coffin) discussing the finer things in life.

All in all it was a worthwhile social experience, but I would have rather won the money, bought an XBOX 360 and the new EA "Skate", gotten all spliffed out and giggled to myself about how I won $1,250 dollars dressing like a jackass and dancing like a maniac.

Instead I went home and ate cold mac and cheese with hot dog slices and plotted my plans for amateur b-boy revenge.

Next year.

1 comment:

  1. im crying inside
    i wish i could've seen this
    like oh em gee
    SO bad


    sucks for me