Sunday, May 22, 2011
Kreayshawn a.k.a Lady Sovereign
I will admit that when B Powders posted the video of THIS thing I really didn't know what to think.
I had heard about her before, but just could not really wrap my mind around how it was possible for an escaped cancer patient with door knockers and turrrrrrible tattoos to manage getting someone to not only allow her to rap, but to also film said thing rapping.
After the first 30 seconds I kind of had an epiphany.
It hit me slowly......
This bitch is America's Lady Sovereign!
- Small ugly ass white bitch that has the body of a 12 year old boy
- Lesbian (not hating just saying it terms of more marketing)
- Hangs out with black dudes for marketing purpose
* they of course hang out with her for free weed and the bonus proximity to other retarded white bitches
- Provocateur i.e gets credit for just doing something not common i.e being a female, small, white, and rapping
- No actual musicality i.e unable to sing, produce, play an instrument, dance to the beat, and in this case even rap
What we have here is a very easy punching bag my friends.
But wait, you might say "TheFader premiered her video so she must have some validity. Right?"
Riggety wrong mother fuckers.
I had TheFader premiere a mixtape way back WHEN and I do not rap, sing, make beats, or even fucking know how to use a cross fader.
It even puts her picture next to my old ass shit.
The headline reads "....OddFuture guys agree"
What? Because one of the dudes in OddFuture smoked weed in her video this bitch gets a co-sign?
First, off like I said from the get go. Two dudes in OddFuture can rap. That's it. Two. The rest are U-God type skill levels and even that is a compliment. Also whichever dude from OF was in that shit *notice I can't even recognize dude's face cause he is that unpopular, what did that guy even have to cancel to be a part of that film "shoot"?
Did he have to cancel his big plans of "not doing a god dam thing?"
He had to cancel hanging out at The Hundreds store and signing shook ass Asian dude's snap backs? * I only say shook cause if you're Asian and from Anaheim and unfamiliar with soft ass black dudes from L.A you might be shook.
How you gonna use someone who just started getting popular as a way to credit someone who also is not fully popular?
That is like casting Steven Baldwin and replacing him with Billy Baldwin. The result is the same. You can't validate one with the other.
But I am digressing....
So Lady Sovereign 2 or whatever we are going to call her is somewhat fascinating if you don't know any better. I bet you this chick has "performed" all of two shows. The internet allows music to get to people instantly, but what most people forget is that it allows an act to not actually have to perform live. I would guess that her "shows" were no more than her doing 3 songs and the crowd was a bunch of her friends and some frozen yogurt quality soft ass hipster dudes.
If you're a girl and white it is not rocket science that you can sort of get a hood pass. It's not guaranteed, but once said bitch figures out that most real residents in the hood are not gonna put hands on a white bitch because that is like instant get sent to prison status said white bitch can sort of walk around a city full of Supermans with an ass full of kryptonite.
I mean that shit is basic ass knowledge. How many times have you seen a chick get buck on a dude at the bar and say some shit like "Oh what are you gonna do motherfucker hit me? Go on and hit me pussy." They posture and pose and get super loud because they know deep down that there chance of getting socked in their snotbox is pretty slim.
There are exceptions like THIS
But again, it is basic ass knowledge.
So her repping "The Town" a.k.a Oakland holds about as much weight as Trump's presidential bid.
So she knows a bunch of Bay Area kids that get stoned and do dumb shit. So does ANYONE that lives in The Bay.
Once this bitch gets her 15 minutes I bet you infinity dollars that she gets punked out tough on some behind closed doors shit. Hanging with people that are hard does not make you yourself hard.
Allow me to gaze into my crystal ball of retardedness of the future to tell you what happens to Kreayshawnda
- She will become more popular
- She will play Coachella next year
- She will do some sort of collab with some sort of unimportant streetwear brand
- Her marketing team will figure out a way to hide that she possess no actual talent
- Some dumb famous music artist will have her featured on a song because their prospective career is failing
- She will most likely get punched or have a bottle thrown at her
- The Urban Outfitters where she worked will have hired a new sales person
- After her 15 minutes of fame run out she will probably enter a rehab or have an intervention where she will re-emerge as her true-self "Lindsey Anderson" and get hired as a notary stamper
As with anything I post on here I could be wrong, but history seems to be on my side with this one.