Monday, December 14, 2009

An Open Letter To Chris Brown

I know, I know.

It only took about 5 minutes before I had to speak about Twitter, but this ain't so much about Twitter as it is my hope to single-handedly save Chris Brown's career.

Chris Brown just recently tweeted this:

"im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do…
WTF… yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit
im not biting my tongue about shit else… the industry can kiss my ass."

Here is an open letter to Chris Brown from yours truly.

Dear Chris,

Sup son? Why people still hatin? Seriously. They be acting like you killed Michael Jackson or some shit. Nothin against Rihanna, but she ain't no mu'fuckin Michael Jackson. That little cinnamon angel was on some king shit. Nah mean?

I know we are boys and all, but I think you fucked up son. No, no, no hear me out son. I told you that your first single should have been "Whoop That Trick" (remix). But did you listen? Nah. You was like "I'm a go on Larry King and squash this shit."

Son. You went on Larry King wearing a fucking bow tie son! Getdafuckoutta here son. Black people don't wear fucking bow ties. And they sure as hell ain't watching no fucking Larry King.

You don't know how to do damage control. Look at my man Kells. That mu'fucka pissed on that chick and FILMED IT. I'ma say that shit again. He pissed on a girl and filmed it. What he do about? Put on a mask and sang his fucking ass off and he's still making moves.

What did you do? You got on your Twitter and started a fight with Oprah.


Stop ackin' like a ho and gimme a call so we can handle this.

One hundid.


Yours Truly

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