Thursday, September 22, 2011
Biggest Virgin Of The Year Award Goes To.....
Not her. This is the mugshot of the Mom. Read below.
So this Mom (lookin better in the normal picture obviously) was trying to get this 14 year old boy to knock her Crocs (white people version of knocking boots ® of Skip Class) and was sexting dude all kinds of crazy freaky shit until his older sister found the texts and dropped a dime on the old gal.
Now, when you're 14 you are prolly still a virgin and a lil' scared to fuck because old gal is gonna be coming at you with some serious veteran pussy power, but you gotta rise above and give her the best 14 year old sex you can invent, homie. Even if you only muster up a little tear drop's worth of a facial that shit is still gonna get you 427 plus infinity high fives.
Otherwise, your sister, who clearly is in the lead for the Player Hater Of The Year Award, is gonna "run go tell dat" to the police and now everyone at your school is gonna look at you like you are extra double official virgin.
Let this be a lesson to all you youngins out there that think you may have a shot with your teacher, assistant soccer coach, shift leader at Dairy Queen, and some drunk older broad at a family wedding.
Just Do It.