SDTW Real Headlines

This should probably be My People #14 but I'll let Real Headlines have it.

Bungee jumping?

Why?

Famous Retards

I really have no empathy for celebrities. 90% of the time they are asking for whatever comes to them.

Once you sign up to be famous or a celebrity you are basically throwing in the towel on your privacy. However, celebrities are not as big of retards as the people who vigilantly follow them i.e fat chicks.

Have fun explaining to your kids that you sold a video of you fucking for 100k because you need to buy another Sea Doo.

P.S I am well aware that by commenting on this makes me guilty of perpetuating this bullshit.

If you are upset about that I always encourage readers to write their concerns down and send them to:

Department Of Someone Who Gives A Fuck
Suite#2800
Gofuckyourself, WA, 98000

Stop Fucking With Wild Animals Part 2

The bull gored him?

Why would it do that?

Oh because you're waiving a stupid red sheet in his face and stabbing him with spears.

Yeah, that might be why he gored you dawg.

No one has ever gotten gored for not fucking with a bull.

Fact.

Why do they even call it bullfighting?

You ain't fighting it. You're annoying it and stabbing it with spears. It should be called bull pestering.

Read the story:
Famous Spanish Bullfighter Gored In Groin

WTF?

Are you trying to go out of business?

Unfrosted Mini Wheats.

How did that get approved?

Was it bring a down syndrome kid to work day?

Jesus.

You should just call them:

"Say Good Bye To The Roof Of Your Mouth Wheats

Bring Back The Word "Poser"

Dudes-

Allow me to vent here for a second.

Can we please ditch the word "hipster" and bring back the word "poser"?

Poser is far more specific and allows the person in question to be more accurately identified.

I am am now knocking on 30's door. An idea that sometimes makes me want to die, but instead of dwelling on the inevitable I do my best to educate the "youth" so that they do not grow up to be fucktards. A mission that is pretty futile, but important none the less.

When I was about 7 years old I first came into contact with the word poser. The word was mostly used between skateboarders in the 80's and 90's.

To be a poser was the single worst thing one could be called growing up. In my high school the very mention of the word could instigate a fight. How awesome is that?

What happened to the word poser? No one really knows. My theory is that the word hipster sort of took over in the public lexicon. However, I feel like hipster is like the word hater. When used to their definitions they work, but they get thrown around so liberally that they have lost all of their collective power.



Exhibit A:

Bounty Hunter (Japanese clothing brand)

Now there is a right way and wrong way to reference another youth culture.

The picture above is a perfect example of the wrong way to do it.

Why?

Because if this dude had to take the bus to some high school that had real vatos or even wannabe vatos he would for sure get his ass kicked. Think about how sorry that is. A wannabe vato getting beat up by o.g wannabe vatos. Now if he is just walking down the street in Kyoto I'm sure dude can puff up his little chest and scare someone's grandma.

It just baffles me why someone would want to dress like this. I mean why can't you wear just one of these things? Why do you have to suit up like you're trying to get into the Vato Olympics?

This dude with 99% certainty is a poser.

See how easy that was?

I was able to identify that dude was not legit and that he is wearing the uniform of a card carrying poser.

Now you might say well Bounty Hunter has been around a long time and put in a lot of work and they should get a pass.

Really?

Aren't they the same dudes that make fucking toys?



Ya I thought so. Making toys is not tough. It might be fun or maybe neato, but it sure as hell is not tough. Also while I am on the subject of Japanese clothing brands. Can you dudes please get off America's dick? Seriously. Why is every line out of Japan trying to look like American greaser, rock a billy, vatos? Just do you. Make some fucking anime themed lines or some shit. I don't know, but just please stop with the culture mirroring. It's just creepy.


Now I am a big fan of lots of sub-cultures. I love Jamaican dancehall culture. Like a lot. I mean I have books, dvds, records, and everything, but I'm not about to rock a mesh jersey and wear my pants unbuttoned and screw my face up at anyone that looks at me vex. Why? Because I'm not a fucking asshole.

I love original skinhead culture too. Do I wear Ben Shermans and braces? Nope. I'm a dad and a business man. I don't need to let the world know that I saw "This Is England" last week and am now an o.g San Diego skin.

Let's say you love black metal. Like that is your shit. You wake up to it, you go to sleep to it, you go to butt tons of black metal shows and the whole nine.

So you would think that it would be chill to dress like this:



Wrong.

If you dress like these two nimrods people are not going to see two bad ass black metal aficionados walking down the street. They are going to see two pussies that play D&D or Call Of Duty that have not been close to a vagina since being birthed.

Just buy a t shirt and wear some jeans. It will allow you to be undercover evil or whatever you're trying to do plus a little bonus for you two the Korean corner store dude won't think you're trying to steal beef jerky in his store all the time.

All I can say is if you're into something just buy a t shirt or a poster and leave it at that. Don't get all everyday is my Halloween with it and look like a walking insecurity.

Spread the word and call someone a poser today. You may have to fist fight that person, but if no one jumps in you'll be fine.

Bad Idea?

Graffiti and tattoos do not mix.

Ever.

Can graffiti writers become good tattoo artists? Sure. As long as they don't mix the two.

I have never seen a good graffiti tattoo.

Most of the time they end up looking like this head turner.

Janked from:

LOLTATZ