Tuesday, December 20, 2011

SDTW Shurt Feelings #4

Xmas comes early.

I didn't even feel like doing this, but since it's nearly Xmas and I'm not giving you shit and YOU ungrateful motherfucks certainly didn't get me anything I will just be the bigger person and do some shurt feelings for yall. Just so you know I am starting this at 11:51 a.m on some timed shit.

You know the drilly.

Pick a shirt. Say some shit.

Why is her butt hole covered? I ask that because just by looking at you dude, I am 1000 percent sure that you like buttholes. Specifically, butt holes. Good thing 10 Deep covered up her "icky" pussy. Don't want to look at that thing, do ya guy?

Yeah, I watched Cocaine Cowboys too dawg. Guess what? At no point during the movie did I whip out my phone and go "Lemme see if someone made a drug dealer graphic tee that allows me to visually express my drug documentary cinema collection?" You know why? Cause I'm not an asshole that thinks I can trick people into thinking I'm a bad ass by wearing a t shirt with a bad ass on it. Using that logic, when I see some fat fuck wearing a Flash shirt I shouldn't challenge him to a foot race? Dumb.

Again with the money! It isn't old or young and it certainly does not need to come home and rest its fucking eyes. Why is it that people always want to proclaim their financial status on a FUCKING T SHIRT? It makes a lot more sense to make said proclamation by having a nice car, house, a tailored suit, fancy watch and consensual sex with women that are visibly out of your league. Just saying. People will pick up the hint with those social cues. Not so much with the plastisol printed tee.

This is way too fucking vague bruh. Don't trust anyone? How about don't trust any light skinned'd black dudes with goatees? That makes a lot more sense to me. I certainly don't think everyone has to be included in your "trust" issues. I wouldn't trust you to sell me incense if you want my opinion.

Hood passes are something black people made up to trick other races into feeling more comfortable hanging around, so that said person would pay for things like dutches, chips, and Arizona Iced Teas.

Also, the look on your face is saying that you are not so sure if you have earned this "pass" as you call it. Let's test this theory out. Go to the Bronx and count the number of people that laugh at you before you order a cab. Divide that number by 2 and that will give you an accurate number to gauge your hoodness.

Finally, a shirt that isn't a complete lie. Yeah, you a cyber freak alright plehbwoy. I bet you get really freaky on there too. Probably friend request mad hoes and then try and status update some lyrics from a band you saw in her music favorites section on some subliminal shit. I bet if you do convince one of those poor girls to "meet up IRL?" for chai tea or whatever simp fuck shit idea you concoct you finna wear your best J's and get the matching scrunchie for your Tomala Favuso lookin ass pony tail.

The only way you are going to get your dick tugged wearing that shirt is if you get it stuck in a chinese finger trap.

End time 12:13 pm.


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