Tuesday, April 10, 2012

SDTW Shurt Feelings #7

Back at it again.

For those not in the know...

- Pick a shirt
- Describe its aesthetics and merits

Enjoy...


You really like hip hop that much blood? THAT much? This shirt should really only exist for members of hip hop/jazz/funk bands that "gig" locally. The expression on his face is perfect. It's almost as if he knows he's done something wrong.


This is illegally unnecessary. This design was pulled out of a folder called "Things That Should Not Exist But For Some Fucking Reason Now Do". In his delusional mind he's thinking that if he wears that shirt to a Talib Kweli show he's gonna get to finger bang some slam poet chick after wards in her studio apartment, but the jokes on him because she's probably got a head full of Eryka Badu lyrics that have her self convinced that she is some modern day empresses and she's basically not gonna even give dude an on top of the clothes hj.


I just want you to die.

Straight + the fuck up.


Oh word?

Mary is what's poppins?

See what I did there?

I used your clever little word device to make another clever little phrase. Yeah, too bad this shirt is for assholes and the dude wearing it looks like the dude that steals dvds from people's rooms at house parties that he wasn't invited to.


The fuck is wrong with you guy? Let's slow it down here. You really think advertising to the public that you are King Virgin is going to get you consensual fellatio? It's not little bruh. Oh and you went and had the nerve to wear a 69 hat on top of that. Is this real ass life? Bruh. You will be lucky to work at a gas station at the rate you're going with this foolishness.


And what prey-tell exactly is your "thing" guy? Is it the lead role in "Asshole: The Guy Who Wears A Girl's T Shirt Brand" ? If so, then by all means I retract my previous statements.


You know what's thug? Units of measure. Word to god son!

The collective attention of today's youth can be summed up by these shirts with things like:

- Snow
- Piff
- Haters
- Dog
- Chili

written in bold typefaces.

5 comments:

  1. I fuck with this column

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  2. "the dude wearing it looks like the dude that steals dvds from people's rooms at house parties that he wasn't invited to. "

    had me fuckin bustin up.

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  3. Also, they couldn't at least size homegirl's "giving head" head to actual adult cranium status? I mean, at that size, it looks like dude is on some pedder-ass 9 yr. old Mexican girl candy rape steez.

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  4. BLOCK PRINT, a brand for wiggers and soft minorities.

    ReplyDelete
  5. holy run-on sentences, batman! get it together.

    ReplyDelete