I Heart The Internets

That is cold as fuck to mess with dude when he is getting his hair done.

Ice cold.

Motherfucking Luggage Tags

The streets have spoken.

This is what's hot my dudes.

Motherfuckin luggage tags.

Yup.

These shits is the new snap backs. Feel me?

Having been involved in "branding" or whatever the fuck you want to call it for near a decade I can only imagine what they are going to come up with next in terms of unnecessary shit.

I am not sure who makes these. Don't care. They aren't the first to make the fucking things obviously, but who in the fuck raised their little limp wristed hand in the meeting and offered this idea up?

If I was in said meeting I would have instantly socked dude in the arm twice and said "Two for being a complete fuck face."

Then I would have made him go get me a Jamba Juice and when he brought back I would have poured it on the ground and told him to pick that shit up.

*Note I probably would not have that kind of power, but just since we are speaking in hypotheticals I'm a do me (no homes).

Moving on.....

Yeah, leather luggage tags. Cool. Fucking wow. You guys really have an eye for detail. You pretty much were like "Fuck not being able to 100% confirm whether or not a bag is mine at an airport. And double fuck having to do it without being able to involve leather."

They probably look like Theo right now. All upset and giving me that "what gives" fucking body language.

But I be all like

On some Cliff shit just staring at the dumbest motherfucker of all time type shit.

You know how unnecessary these fucking things are?

They are so unecessary that they give them to you for FREE at the airport.

Not like sometimes or on some if you're lucky type shit. The motherfuckers have a god damn punch bowl of them shits sitting right there.

You could grab a whole fucking handful and not one person would even blink.

But no. You motherfuckers had to be different. You had to get your urban craftsmanship on and try and think of a way to make some shit that makes you feel 48 years old when you buy it, but can also be sold to some Americana tumblr asshole that needs one more worthless nothing to add to his collection of trinkets i.e gourmet candles, Supreme incense holder, monocle holster, pocket watch, all over print silk handkerchief, Navajo made key lanyard, and whatever wild idiotic shit you can concoct.

Happy Friday everyone I'm out.

I Heart The Internets

Look at this while listening to this...

I Heart The Internets

Look at that smile.

Next time you're feeling sorry for yourself remember my boy Stevie Austin is giving negative five shits about not having his lower body.

And smiling about it.

SDTW News Of The Obvious

Basically.

Mt. Rushmo Thugz

Someone please get this tattooed on their lower back.

Please.

We are against those thugz

Thnx Daytona

***UPDATE

That asshole Daytona left out a few key details about this shit that he shared after I posted it. Apparently, all credit for this should be going to his homie Arthur who is only 16 and painted this shit in 20 minutes while puffing on some devil's lettuce.

16? I was not that cool at 16. I mean I loved weed and rap, but I did not posses the where with all to make something that cool.

Reinventing the game...

Rap.....Rest In Peace

Leave it to my favorite dude in the world DJ Khaled to just beat a dead dog.

The fuck, motherfuck, fuck shit, fuck is wrong with people?

What does this video/song even fucking mean?

This is probably the most homoerotic thing I have ever seen since they came up with UFC. It's like a retarded urban version of a bachelorette party.

- cliche outfits
- novelty jewelry
- random chicks holding spray cans
- Rick Ross blowing smoke o's

I was waiting for these dudes to bust out boas and wiener shaped shot glasses.

The collective swag of this video can be visually summed up by the photo above.

And then Khaled started rapping.

I don't even follow this dude so I have no idea if that was his first time on the mic, but that shit is wild not needed.

How many good Persian rappers are there?

That's right. Negative 47.

C'mon.

I mean dude is paid or whatever, but it's that really weird type of paid where you don't have any idea why this dude is famous or what exactly he does also known as the Don King Hustle. When you have no idea why someone is famous then they are most likely an opportunist. They see an opportunity and strike like a triflin video hoe.

You can't rap? Don't trip blood. Just find someone who can i.e Biggie then sign that dude to a slave deal and then whisper weird ass shit on his records until you feel comfortable enough to rap yourself.

Same shit.

Can't make a beat? Don't sweat that shit player. Find someone who can. Sign that dude to a silly dumb contract and then put your name on the record and do a gang of interviews and take wild credit for inventing the Nike Swoosh logo, being the first dude to liquify coke, claim to have fingered Christina Aguilerra then take a photo of yourself in front of some fancy car with like ten rottweilers and 4 coke head strippers.....boom.

It is not rocket science. It's an old hustle.

If I am so "perceptive" why haven't I achieved unwarranted acclaim and success you ask?

Cause I have a fucking soul you fucking twit.

Random fact: Big Black of MTV's Rob and Big asked me back in the day to be his manager. Now in hindsight I may have made lots of money by taking advantage of said opportunity, but I was more like "Uh Black, I am pretty sure they have like a whole store of weasely white dudes that will take their 15% from those MTV pay checks."

Sorry for the digression.

My point is that rap as a genre is plateauing AGAIN.... it does this shit every decade or so and some new shit is gonna spring up and make this huge Dior shades, weird ass army boot, white backdrop, auto tune anthem shit yesterday's news.

We have no control over it and are sort of just stuck with it until it passes.

"But SDTW, is there anything we CAN do?"

Actually......yes.

If you are a reader from Miami and you see Khaled you have a few options.

Option 1:

Yell (loud enough so everyone can hear you preferably in a public place)

"Yo Khaled, make sure you shave your tits before the wet t-shirt contest, werewolf bitches never win them shits player."

sub note*

(chunk up a deuce as you're saying it and you might trigger a Pavlovian response from him so that he is chunking up one back at you, but then he realizes you are talking shit and he will have this awkward ass moment where he is giving you props for calling him a Persian Twilight Tittied Werewolf)

Option 2:

Follow in the footsteps of a young B Powders, and just make fart noises in the background when he walks. It's subtle but works on some classic 4th grade style humor. No one can look cool when someone is making fart noises while they walk.

Option 3:

If you happen to be serving Khaled at restaurant just work "da best" into your questions to him and his dining party (the dude clearly loves to eat.)

Khaled: Can we get some waters?
You: Certainly sir, our waters are da best.

Khaled: I think my steak is a little too rare.
You: Not to insult you sir, but I am pretty sure we da best when it comes to steak. Our chefs are da best. Our meats are da best. Everything we do is da best.

But until that happens.....we have to tolerate this shit in our peripheral.

It Continues...

I bet my boy has one of these so he can make naked tattooed tumblr hoes Krylon Kocktails.

I Heart The Internets

Thx Fisk

SDTW Welcomes OBLVN

My good bud and all around great dude OBLVN is desereved of being in the very exclusive SDTW Posse Blog Roll.

He doesn't really write anything on his blog, but he can draw and paint with the best of them.

Book mark the shit.

U Mad Chicago?

SDTW fucks with hockey.

And we really fucks with Game 7 OT shots especially if you're Alex Burrows going ham.

Welcome To UMadsville Population: Chicago

Fun Havers

Stolen from HERE

Run It

Summer is coming and that means I start passing on rap and start playing lots more roots and dancehall.

I came across this Diplo mix and although it doesn't have anything rare or obscure to geek on it is a very very solid primer for the genre during the early 80's rub a dub rootical catalog of Greensleeve's library.

Warning:

There are no lasers, no wild inappropriate dancing videos, and no blonde mohawked mad men. It is just reggae songs.

Recommended.

Right Here

I Heart The Internets

Pawse

I Heart The Internets

Your boy that lines up your "fade" may be ill, but can he do one of these?

Sprayground

C'mon.

Some dipshit company makes one of these every year and the results are always the same.

No one wants some Swiss Army Urban Spray Recon Utili-Bag.

This type of thing should be sold in some graffiti infomercial with voice over playing on top of footage of a super "clutzy" writer like:

"Hey dogz, do you ever find yourself trying to do a hecka sick piece only to find that your "go to" bag is slowing you down?"

"Is your crew cold dissing you to hurry up because you're always finishing your stuff last?"

"Does your current bag not have a place for you laptop OR your skateboardz?"

The problem with shit like this besides the "everything" is that well it's wild unnecessary.

Who is buying this thing?

Besides that dude I mean.

When company such and such makes one of these things it gets picked up by some fancy site like Gizmodo and then they start making graffiti writers out to be some anarchy tactical commando unit and then the dude that wrote "Fast & Furious" sees that shit one night all coked out and writes a fucking screen play and sells that shit to Lionsgate and they cast McLovin' as the lead role who goes by the nom de plum "2Fresh" and then Green Day makes some street art cheerleading anthem for the soundtrack and shit gets all fucked up.

These are the stakes my friends. Before you do something like this ask yourself one question....

"Does this NEED to exist?"

Or better yet ask yourself this "Has someone already invented something called a fucking backpack?"

If my words did not detere you from wanting this "satchel of rebellion" you can buy one at Sprayground in the link below:

Buy one here

Pupa Jim

This is my shit right now.

Deal with it.

for those that want it

The Feel Good Photo Of The Year

DMX and a remote control helicopter.

Summer is coming dudes.

Where Is B Powders?

I Heart The Internets

SDTW Knowledge Is Power

Reading a book, smoking a cigarette, and being a dickhead is three things too many while walking down the street.

ASAP Rocky

Blog Roll homies IMNOTATOY and one of my faves REALNIGGATUMBLR posted this rando track from some dude named ASAP Rocky.

It instantly took me back to Dallas Summers circa 2001 even though it's new.

Bump this shit while you're waiting in a Whataburger drive-thru.

Oh Come On Dawg

This is wild inappropriate.

Dawg.

Four Twenty

My buddy reminded me that it was 4/20 today.

I could care less as I have not partaken in a "sesh" in many years although Mr. B. Powders is a huge fan of the crazy cabbage. And since I really love you guys I "curated" an image post of all the great things about jah's leaf a.k.a marijuana.

Now sit back and take in the great spectrum that is cannabis.

NHL Playoffs

Losing to Chicago 7-2 was pretty tough for the Canucks last night.

But losing 7-2 and having this dude front row giving you that face.

Ouch.

Banned In The USA

You may think 2LiveCrew was all about pussy and gold chains (they were) but they also did a huge favor for music by pointing out that if the KKK can get their free speech on then so can musicians.

It can also be said that 2LiveCrew made very high quality ignorant rap.

They are like the Public Enemy but with rhymes about getting tons of punanny.

Album in the link.

Get That

Getting Paper

The first 15 seconds are fire after that it is just sort of weird.

Thnx

C Murder

Two Words

High Energy

Bad Boys Bad Boys

Being able to read is not a requirement for law enforcement.

I Heart The Internets

Calmer than you are dude.

SDTW Knowledge Is Power

If you masturbate with the hand that has a "Live Strong" bracelet on it you are susceptible to cancer until you are finished.

Ketamine, the ultimate party drug?

Some dude sent this to my inbox stating that he wants his friend to become internet famous.

I don't think your boy is gonna become famous for being K'd the fuck out, but he will be seen by well over 13 maybe 15 people in the next month.

We get wild internet traffic son.

I wonder if...

this guy will make it out to Art in the Streets?

Secretly Bald Niggas

Ne-Yo

The actual mugshot shows Ne-Yo's wild baldness, but I just thought this picture was so much better even if it doesn't really help my point.

Talib

Finding a picture of Talib without a hat is harder than finding a picture of DJ Paul's gimpy little hand. Don't believe me click HERE

Jamie Foxx

Technically not bald, but his hairline is retreating so tough that it is only a matter of time.

Britney Spears

Like I was gonna let her off with a warning.

Strangler

I had an "I Heart Gchat" discussion a while back you may remember where my homie noted that he would like to get a "squeezer" from Coco (Ice T's wife).

That was the first time I became aware of the term squeezer.

Shortly, after that I had another discussion with my brother in-law and he theorized that if you were to combine a "stranger" with a "squeezer" it would be called a "strangler".

I felt he was on to something.

So he went ahead and made that shit official.

I'm not saying this is the most brilliant term ever coined, but definitions gotta definition. Nah mean?