Thursday, March 31, 2011
How hard can one dude try?
Let's break down the contents of this street assassin's kit
Bike lock = so you're on a bike, fair enough. Locks gotta lock.
Krink Markers (all three of them) = 3 unused markers from the Krink 2011 Catalog. Got that back up marker for that back up marker?
Camera = non film camera? Talk about a tumblr fail.
Sunglasses = In case you catch your own reflection and you're shining too hard.
Knife = You whittling a wooden figurine?
Can Of Montana Black = Ultra tech German Montana with the crazy ill burner tip.
Blackberry = fair enough standard item.
Business cards = In case someone doesn't recognize you from your 4,000 self portraits on the internet.
Two bags of caps = 42 caps is too many, 41 caps is just the right amount.
Military stickers = two stickers to spark the revolution.
Janitor's Keys = in case one of the teacher's needs something out of storage.
Bike pump = Inflate your ego or your tire.
No press is bad press as far as the internet is concerned EIKNARF
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
New feature we're starting here simply called
"SDTW Internet Matches"
It should be very clear how this feature works.
If it is not clear don't trip because Darwin tells us that people like you will die off because of your inability to adapt and thus survive to breed.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Ah yeah dawg. We were waiting for the precise moment to announce that SDTW is now a full on clothing line. That moment is now.
Our first offering will be these custom cut and sewn pocket tees.
These joints will get you wild amounts of pussy. They're made out of whatever the hell t-shirts are made out of and they have our name on them somewhere.
If you rock this mad tumblr dudes will take your picture and sandwich your photo between a naked bitch smoking and photo of some gay ass shoes that my grampa wears.
Now taking pre-orders:
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
This dude and Action Bronson are good.
Nice to hear New Yorkers not pretending to be coke dealers.
Too bad they only post albums to iTunes so I can't listen to them.
I found this one.
Meyhem Lauren Butter Mixtape
Listen yourself if you doubt the God.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Everyone was/is on Charlie Sheen's dick just because the dude does drugs and said some wild shit on t.v. The dude didn't fucking invent being a coke head. Give me a fucking a break. All this "winning" bullshit? Corny as fuck.
What's not corny?
These two dudes straight clownin' the KKK with a camera phone.
Get on that level.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Probably the least newsworthy headline ever.
What makes this shit even more pointless is it takes negative 5 seconds to see how cross eyed this bitch is.
Which camera are you smiling for hun?
The headline should've been:
Tony Hawk a.k.a world's best wingman saves buddy from being married to a lazy eyed dump.
Now some people accuse this holiday of being pointless (in America) however, there is way more meaningless shit we celebrate than this.
And correct me if I am wrong, but the only thing that is a tradition is you have to wear green and get drunk.
So basically if you're a garbage man then this shit is what you would call "work".
Here is some spacey dream fuzz from The Stepkids, a group of musicians from diverse musical backgrounds who seem to have formed like Voltron and figured out how to tickle fuck my ears with some crucial meltyness in the quest for real music made with actual instruments. Crazy concept, yes I know. Enjoy.
I'm assuming this is how the majority of the pilled out moms that have to play this trash for their mistakes hear this song.
Can't wait for her "Autotune Phase".
Note: No disrespect to the late Dj Screw
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
SDTW does its best to not get all "ZEITGEIST" about shit cause that shit is for the birds, but I personally have read A LOT of articles regarding "Net Neutrality" and that shit is no joke.
Read the following excerpt. Not only is it disconcerting, but Al Franken also "sons" the fuck out of the Black Eyed Peas which just makes it that much better.
As an opponent of the Comcast acquisition of NBC Universal, Franken singled out the corporate giant.
Alleging that the cable company wants "to put Netflix out of business entirely" due to their streaming video business that could pose as a threat to Comcast's cable franchise, he warned:
"In the end, the American people will end up paying a lot more for worse service."
He encouraged festival attendees to fight the political influence of the big telecom firms, saying:
"Unfortunately one thing these big corporations have that we don't is the ability to purchase favorable political outcomes. Big telecoms have lots of [lobbyists], and good ones, too. … The end of net neutrality would benefit no one but these corporate giants."
He ended his speech by encouraging people to fight to preserve net neutrality to avoid a future in which they're "stuck listening to the Black Eyed Peas and reminiscing about the days before you had to sell out to make it.”
"Lenny Dykstra insists that he’s been listening to Odd Future since 2005."
This tumblr has potential only because the quotes are decent.
Rappers Looking Like Magicians is probably better.
Props for using Lenny Dykstra though.
As soon as I said this shit was dead this conversation happened.
Hopefully, I will be able to document the collective brilliance of SDTW in the written form more often.
Squeezer n. (noun)
A handjob that involves a tight grip of the shaft.
"People are starting to recognize me. A stripper offered me a squeezer last night dude.... a WHITE stripper!"
Found a very subtle one here.
I almost missed it.
But if you look real closely you don't see a cool guy wearing a nice jacket you see a really fucking weird dude that naked wrestled with Jack Osbourne's fat ass on national television.
Now drink up
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Support American dudes that be selling that American paint.
Dude is on the front lines of the war for making rackable paint usable paint.
In other words when you buy fancy paint the terrorists win dawg.
Buy That Shit Player
Posted by =SDTW= at 11:33 AM
Labels: american accents, not going to make a charlie sheen "winning" allusion, terrorists win, trout art supply
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Watch for the unknown object* that emerges from the wave at the far right side of the screen at the 2:04 mark.
Now as much as I would love to believe that some kind of alien, somalian pirate, building #7, mexican drug submarine, or even a super cool surf bro delivered a tsunami to shore and bounced back to some ball of aluminum foil orbiting this planet.... Oh, but I digress
Shit is terrible, hopefully the old US of A can lend Japan a hand and they can get back to making awesome stuff like this baby mop.
* - actually a helicopter shadow
hint: follow the line while dragging the video player in reverse